For some new Mom’s and old after the joy of finding out you are expecting the next big thing is telling everyone. Some people wait for a little bit to tell even the man in her life, if you have a big event you don’t want to take away focus from, and can keep it under wraps why not?!
An old friend from high school when pregnant with her first beautiful little girl didn’t want to overshadow her Handfasting by announcing her pregnancy. Her morning sickness ended up putting a bit of a kink in her plans which is something you have to consider. If you want to keep your pregnancy quiet then your morning sickness will factor into that; some ladies are lucky and don’t get it at all, and I envy them.
If we look at when I told Logan again you can see how I was close to bursting with the news. All the fears and excitement I felt mixed together too quickly and ended up bursting out when he called me on his break. In hindsight telling him at 9am when he was working, not the best idea, but at least it was a Friday so I could go to visit him that night and share in our joy. He enjoyed being able to tell his co-workers he was going to be a Dad, but he was a mess like myself for the rest of the day. When you have such big news sometimes you just can’t keep it in, or focus after learning the news. I like to think when we have another child I’ll cook him a special dinner, something with baby carrots, a baby sleeper cake I’ve perfected for fun, and a bunch of other baby themed items. Then get our daughter into a piece of clothing that says “I’m the big sister” and have her run up to Tato (Polish word for Dad) and give him a big hug. I haven’t been thinking about this since the Padawan was born, of course not! I was tempted to keep it quiet and tell him in person but it felt like I would be keeping a secret from him, and since my Mom knew, and told my Papa, I thought “Well. Cat’s out of the bag!” My Mom called my Papa and told him before we even had a full confirmation, so I had to call him and tell him for sure, yes, his eldest granddaughter was going to have a baby. When my Mom got pregnant she was 18, and I remember seeing the pictures of when she told my Papa, the public place, my Dad with her and everyone smiling but my Papa had that look in his eyes, it seemed to say “Lucky we are in public”. For me he was 1000km away, and I wasn’t 18 but I still felt like a little girl telling her Dad she was pregnant before she should be; but even with all that fear he still was there to support me, and congratulate me! For any unexpected pregnancy it is scary telling people, but if they truly love you they will support you in everything you do in life with every fiber of their being. I feel that way even if it is your first or second closer to your first then you would have liked, or you’re third when you planned on only two.
One of the first things you need to do when you find out your pregnant no matter if you took a test or went into the doctor’s office, or both like me! Is making an appointment to see your doctor as soon as possible, some of the things we went over after getting the positive results from the test were if I was taking any medication, when my last cycle was, and what seemed like a thousand other questions.
For myself due to my odd cycle I had no idea how far along I was. I hadn’t had my friend come to visit me in about three months, and due to this my doctor arranged for me to have an ultrasound that very day. We also set up an appointment to get me referred to a maternity clinic and get a pap smear done to make sure everything was in tip top shape. (On a separate note, I can’t stress how important regular pap smears are for women. It’s your body. You need to take care of yourself and get checked regularly)
Because Logan lived so far away my Mom came with me to the ultrasound, and because we were not that far along instead of getting the external ultrasound done, we had an internal one with the wand. If you are fairly early in your pregnancy you can expect the wand, but it is not a bad thing and will not hurt the baby. Ultrasounds are not dangerous to the mother or child; Health Canada states that –
“Diagnostic fetal ultrasound provides important medical information, such as the size, age and state of health of the baby in the womb. It can also detect twins and can diagnose certain birth defects. The clinical use of fetal ultrasound has grown rapidly and it has an excellent safety record. There have been millions of these examinations over the past few decades with no confirmed health risks for the baby or the mother. This finding is consistent with the majority of scientific studies on the effects of ultrasound.”
© Her Majesty the Queen in Right of Canada
represented by the Minister of Health, 2003
Date of Publication: November 2003
Knowing how far along you are when you first find out you are pregnant is very important and does affect how your doctor treats you.
We were 9 weeks along when we found out we were pregnant, which meant we still had three weeks to go before the big week 12. At 12 weeks the risk of a miscarriage drops 50% and is the time when most people announce they are expecting. If my Mom hadn’t said anything to anyone Logan and I would have waited until then to announce it to the people closet to us, and is the normal practice. Others wait until much later, either due to personal preference or because of the situation they are experiencing. One lady I met and have since become very close to did not tell anyone she was expecting due to the tragic loss of her first born after birth. Another due to circumstances beyond her control did not announce it until she was 30 weeks, even another hid it due to her new job until after three months, so her job was protected. It’s a personal choice when you decided to tell the world; and saying that when you tell your employer it is completely different. There is no right way or wrong way to announce it, keep in mind that this is your pregnancy and no one else’s, which is something you will have to remember more often than you think, I’ll get into that later, but never in my life have I been so judged as when I became pregnant and after that became a new Mom. Everyone will have a different way of doing things, and some people are very insistent they are right, but what works for you might not work for them and vice versa.