Separation anxiety and a big move

Written on January 15, 2011 at 4:17 PM

For the first couple of months after finding out we were pregnant my man and I lived a good distance apart. It was manageable due mainly to the internet and cell phones – although be warned! Sometimes you can go WAY over your minutes even when you are trying to stay under the limit. We would talk on every one of his breaks, his lunch time and after work. My schedule was super flexible so he’d call and I’d answer; anything to get those couple of minutes with him. We did this before we found out so it wasn’t really anything too new. When we would both get home from work we would fire up the laptops and go on Skype together so we could see each other.

We would sit there watching TV together and chatting; couldn’t really play video games too often due to lag issues with the laptops and X-Box’s going but we would still sometimes depending on the game. Because my Morning sickness was so severe the typical night just had us hanging out together; me sick as a dog, wishing I was there.

We planned on moving in together when my Maternity leave started; I was planning on taking it either in March or in April, depending on how things went. However my living arrangements needed to be changed much sooner then we planned due to some stressful situations and I was put on medical leave. It was heaven getting to move up sooner and one of the scariest things ever. It was my first time moving away from Family completely; when I moved to Calgary from Vancouver Island I moved to be closer to my Mom and for the boom. My entire family is on the Island still besides my Mom in Calgary and I never lived more than 15 minutes away from her while I was in the city. I had spent 3 1/2 years getting to know Calgary and getting known around the city. With my job I couldn’t really walk into a store and have staff not know me; I had a set routine and places I always visited so even places I didn’t work I knew the staff. It was comforting being known; everyone knew me back home by face and name…heck back home everyone even knew my car!!

Since my man had been planning on going to school within the next little while he had moved back in with his Mom and was renting out his house to save some cash for school; so when I moved in we were living in his Mom’s basement. For many people this might be their worst nightmare; moving in with the In Law’s right away, we had never lived together yet either! But for us this was perfect, his Mom is an amazing woman and we were so lucky to have her.

That was another thing that was exciting and terrifying; we moved in with each other after a short period of time and neither really knew the others living habits. I wanted to move in as soon as possible and actually get some time together alone before the baby came; but this was moving up our plans by a good chunk of time. I’m a planner; I like to have a plan set so I know what to work for and what I’m doing with my life. In a perfect world I would always have the next year or two minimum planned out. I felt out of control already just being pregnant; and this was adding to it. Would I be able to find a job up there? Would I meet anyone and get some friends? What the heck was going to happen? We decided on a Wednesday to move in together; on Saturday I was completely packed up and moving. It was the best decision I ever made; and when I look back I laugh at myself for being worried. It was perfectly healthy though; so if you’re going through anything similar don’t feel bad about being nervous; it’s a pretty big move and can go either way. I was more than lucky to have a fantastic man who understands me more than anyone else I’ve ever met in my life.

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