Pushing the limits

The Padawan needs a sibling. She needs someone to keep her company on her travels. Someone to have her back unconditionally. You know, other then her parents. She needs someone to guide and grow with. Someone to be the Joker to her Batman.

She needs someone to bounce off of, and back to. I go back and forth between wanting another child and being happy with one, but the truth is I am settling for one. I know another child at this time would not really be the best thing for our family. (At this time) With both parents working all the time, even though I work out of the house, and with bills still needing to you know, be paid…. It just doesn’t make fiscal sense to have another child. However the Padawan is 15 months old. If we wanted to have them similar in age, now is really the time to either have one, or seriously think about having one. If I got pregnant today, she would be two years old when the second child was born. This is a double edged sword to me, while I am six and seven years older then my sister and baby brother, I loved and hated it at the same time. There was always a generational gap between us, and I always had to watch out for my little sister. A chore I look back on and think of fondly, but at the time… Ugh. The Boy was different, since he was in kindergarten he went to after school care, but the sister was a grade ahead, so I watched her. In reality it’s probably the first time they were ever split like that. Those little … Lovely children… Are so close in age they were pretty much raised as twins. Which brings me to my “Oh dear god no more kids please” side of things.

Two years, is not enough of a gap. The sibs are 18 months apart. They would double team me, and I was far too old to “fight” back. They would terrorize my Mom to no end, and those two being so close, coupled with having me so young, sapped my poor Mom of all strength until we were older. After that though for her came the “What the hell do I do?” part of her life. It started when the sibs were about 14-15 and now that one has graduated, and the other is set to next year, she’s going a little crazy. Like all Mom’s do when the house gets close to being empty I would assume.

But having two kids would be so much fun when they are close to age! When it’s just The Padawan and her little buddy who is the same age, the Busy Boy, life is so hilarious! Every single thing they do takes on new meaning because they watch each other do it. The Busy Boy teaches The Padawan that she can get into things she never thought of, and she shows him her favorite ways to get into trouble. Some times I have flashbacks to the sibs, when the two of them are smiling at me through the screen door and have the arm to it in one’s hands and the other has the pressure part- locking me out. Or when one is literally throwing food at the other across the table to “share” his/her meal. Recently The Padawan and The Busy Boy were sitting in a wagon together and annoying each other. So The Padawan decides she’s had enough and bites him three times on the arm before I can stop her! He gets his hits in as well, when she annoys him to no end with attack hugs and headbutt kisses he pushes her down, or will just smack her. As funny as it is obviously I always step in, when either side does something bad like that. There is a pretty strict no hitting, kicking or biting rule in our house, but you can’t pre enforce those rules, you just try to keep on top of the incidents and if I see the start of something I jump in right away. I also want to encourage the little ones to stand up for themselves, so unless it’s a hit, kick or bite I usually leave it alone. If The Busy Boy pushes The Padawan down because she was trying to take his toy, that’s fine, but if he tries to HKoB her it’s an instant step in.

Siblings are brutal to each other, it’s almost like your trying to prove you can take them out, you actually want to hurt them! But when it’s just a friend the fighting is different. That person doesn’t have to love you, your siblings do.

I love my dayhome kids but I also love giving them back at the end of the day, dealing with two 24/7 seems like a daunting task…The Padawan is such an amazing child, but she has her moments when she could almost run both Mom and Dad out of town screaming as we ran down the street pulling our hair out. Can you imagine having two of those???? I sure as heck can’t. I can’t imagine having mirror fits all the time, having another colicky baby keeping his big sister up, or going through teething again! We are almost done! Please god no more!! We are getting to the point where I can almost start to potty train her, so another baby means even more diapers? With my current career choice I would be sunk as well. I would have five kids all the time at home with a newborn….. All I can think is ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?? Isn’t that insanity!?!??

….then I see the Padawan playing so nice and quiet with her little friends….

Then one steals a toy and starts to cry… Creating three little mirror fits.

Ah the life with more then one kid.

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