My Mommy

I was lucky enough in life to have a very young Mom. My Mommy celebrated her 18th birthday a few months before I was born. This meant a harder road for her yes, coupled with my… Lovable loser father, she had to fight for everything. Hell, she had to fight to keep me after I was born! Small towns and small minded people are a horrible combination. Add in the fact I was quite literally the baby from hell… Jeez… Looking back I’m surprised she didn’t shake me! (Wait for the collective gasp and then realize its a joke)

My Mom and I are best friends. We talk about everything. I can say anything to her and she to me. My Mom recently went through a level of hell I can’t imagine. Our Granny’s identical twin sister past away, so Mom and the fam went to the funeral and then to our home town. While there she found out her best friend, sister practically, had a stroke and was in the hospital. This lady was always a tough, vibrant lady and the same age as my Mom with a son roughly my age and when my Mom went to see her she couldn’t speak. My Aunty sadly past away a few weeks after my Mom saw her, leaving the world a little darker in turn.

While she was there my Mom called me and had a little break down. My Aunty’s mother never liked my Mom, and made life rougher then it had to be when she was visiting. I was the only one she could talk to, the only one who she could bounce things off of, and apparently I know how to talk to people. I wanted to be a counselor when I was young, but I was so proud that my Mom could call me. When the chips were down and she needed someone, I was the person she could call. It’s happened before, but this time, maybe because I have my own daughter now, I truly felt, for lack of a better word, blessed to have this relationship with my Mom.

I love my Mommy. I feel so bad for never truly saying this to her, for thanking her for all she has done my life. Being there when I was a month premature and never losing hope, taking care of a screaming baby who was the devil in baby form, giving up her life to give me the best one possible… Working full time as a single Mom so, again, I could have as much as she could give. As a Mom now I understand it better, and have had to explain to Logan how Grandparents are a child’s favorite in appearance, how they will usually go to Baba over Mama simply because Mom and Dad are around every day, they assume we are always one step behind them holding them up, because we love her so unconditionally she will take advantage of it because she doesn’t understand. At least as a baby she won’t understand it. She trusts us to always be there for her because we are.

I was always super attached to my Mom as a kid. Even if I didn’t show it, being away from her while she worked was torture. If I got to go to work with her I was happy as a pig in poke. I remember calling the operator and asking her, because they knew everything, if she knew when my Mommy would be home because Granny wouldn’t tell me/didn’t give the answer I was looking for. There was always a fear of my Mom not coming back. Not because she had done that, but because other people had. My father for one. I love that man with all my heart, but honestly I shouldn’t. He has let me down so many times someone else might have told him to F Off. To stop toying with her emotions and either man up or leave. I don’t even know how Logan and The Padawan should be because I never had a father. I’m jealous some times of what they have, and that is a feeling you never want to have.
But my Mom was constant. She was always there holding my hand. Making sure everything was good and perfect as she could make it for me.

If you can. Give your Mom a hug today. My Mommy lives too far away for me to do that as often as I’d like. I realized how I’m not really okay with that this week when my daughter was in the hospital. So treasure your Mom being close. If she isn’t close then grab your kidlet, dog, SO, or a pillow, and give them a big huge hug.

Never thought I’d get that sappy but hey, go with the flow!


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