Bad Mommy Moment

The war loudly rages on around me as I sit here and type this out. I can hear all, I can see all… And since no one is getting hurt, is fed and changed… Quite frankly they can do whatever they want.

Each child is happily playing… There is no crying, no fighting… I’ve come to the conclusion it’s not the kids I fear… It’s my house. The funnest things for them to do is usually …

1. Dump all the toys out of the cardboard boxes (toy overflow is a growing problem in this house hold) and play with the now empty boxes together.

2. Spread Pre dumped toys across the living room and somehow not play with a single one in the process.

3. Find the messiest cracker in existence some how (They materialize out of thin air you know…) and eat it spreading it from kitchen to living room.

4. Find the biggest sippy cup we have and managed to get the almost mommy proof cap off and dump the contents (99% of the time water thank god) all over the floor.

5. Get around the child proof doors into the paper recycling (or just find a brand new roll of paper towel) and proceed to rip and shred everything into minuet pieces tossing it around the house so it looks like snow.

A couple of these have happened when I take my five minutes every few hours and be human… But some all I can do is watch. Number four is quickly becoming the favorite… So I am wondering if there is a fae in my house that just delights in helping them be little … Angels.

A lot of the time they are not playing well together until they find the common bond of all toddlers… Making a mess. So today I wave the white flag. I’m sitting here watching them all have the time of their little lives… I’m not sweeping up behind every step so the mess doesn’t get out of hand. I’m letting it get out of hand for once.

I forget to stop and watch them play some times. I get so busy cleaning up after four little tornados and keeping them safe from themselves (That I can’t stop, but so far they’ve forgotten they can climb and are just destroying things on ground level at this exact second) that while still watching them all, I don’t “watch” them. I miss the tiny little things some times. Like when my Padawan goes up and gives the boys a kiss when she trades a toy for a toy. I miss the subtle ways the Big Boy and her play tag or talk or just interact.

I guess it’s the classic missing the big picture. I’m focusing on all the little messes, not enjoying the kidlets, just seeing all the destruction. I’ll tell you one thing, my stress level today is down 110% or more, even though my OCD is trying to break free and turn into a tornado of cleaning myself.

Normally when they get playing semi quietly I start the dishes or sweep or one of the million of other tasks that parents have around the house. Right now I’m just sitting back, feet up, listening to the kids chatter away as they play.

This is why I chose to stay at home and work from home. I was starting to forget why I did it. So while I warn anyone who might step foot into my house today, it looks like the house of a woman who gave up and let the kids run loose… And that’s exactly what it is… But my kids are all fed, changed, napped and happy.

And you know what? So am I.

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