Recently I asked my four closest friends to be my bridesmaids. I wanted to have that in place before anything because having these four ladies have always had, and watched my back.
It’s not nearly as important as having Logan beside me, but having this four ladies behind me meant a lot.
Then. My daughters God Mother. One of my best friends since grade one… Said she couldn’t do it. Didn’t ask when, didn’t ask where, just idly denied it. I told her it won’t be until 2013, 2014 probably but she laughed -laughed- and said no. Told her I was going to buy the dresses. Still didn’t budge. She has become an Ambot. But I still love her so I don’t want to talk smack about her. It will be hard.
I keep telling myself its fine. I did want five bridesmaids but I didn’t want to go over the top, so now I can ask my girlfriend who I’ve actually never met but love like a sister to be in my wedding party. To some that might sound odd, but remember I met Logan online playing video games, and at least this lady I met through her cousin, who will be in my wedding party.
Who I will have as my maid of honor now is still up in the air. I did want her but… She won’t be in the party.
Then add in the fact that I want my Dad to walk me down the aisle but don’t want to invite his wife… Too many years of Daddy issues prevents me from really asking him to walk me down. I’d rather have my Mom or brother or even both, but I want a normal wedding.
I really want a normal wedding…
So all in all I’ve come to the conclusion that my Mother in Law was right. All I really want is a party, so why not have it at her house?
…okay. I just reread that… Part of me says it would be a good idea, the other part is running screaming down the road shouting “Noooooooooooo!!!!!” In a very Vader Esq way.