A twitter conversation tonight got me thinking about social media and healthy relationships.
Now I am a closet housebound shut in and loving it. There is nothing more then I like to do weeknights after the Padawan goes to bed and weekends then to play as much video games as I possibly can and have family time. I’m a twitter JUNKIE and a recovering Facebook addict.
I don’t go out to the bar, or really at all and when I do it’s with the husband and the youngling or the toddler battalion. We go to all the hot spots in town; hitting up Wal Mart, Sobey’s, No Frills, the post office and my all time favorite place to go, Dollarama. When it’s warm, we play out in the yard of course but going to town is a treat. Because of this all, I really don’t have anything gossip worthy to post on Facebook. I’m in a small town, and people love to talk but I have managed to, I think at least, stay on everyone’s good side. Something that is still fairly new. Growing up in the same small town no one forgets your mistakes.
But way, way back (in the 1980’s secret government employees… Anyone?) in the day Facebook was a … Whore. I’ve been lucky enough to avoid most common mistakes, friend flame wars, compromising pictures, Ex’s, flirting etc. a lot of people I know haven’t been so lucky and I can only imagine the more popular of a person you are it might get worse. Everyone has that one friend who ________ and it was up on Facebook.
When Logan and I started dating I made a really focused decision to cut any single person who might create any form of drama. If I had dated them, or had a crush on them/vice versa, or thought anything might happen I deleted them and played dumb if they said anything but ignored the request. Simply put Logan already meant so much to me I didn’t want to jeopardize it in any way shape or form. A lot of people don’t go into relationships thinking that, or they just don’t see the potential drama. I cut people that probably didn’t have to go, but it was a soul cleansing purge. I know how stupid that sounds because its only Facebook but I cut ties with people who by simply being on my feed brought ugliness to everything.
Of course respect is a big factor. Never would I allow myself to be in a compromising position with anyone other then my hubs so this Mama stays clear of drama and even the slightest chance of a misleading photo (the standard issue on Facebook it seems) and I know how high and mighty it sounds but its true. Just sounds pompous when put into words, anyone who loves someone does the same.
So can a truly healthy relation exist in an age of social media?
I think so. I really honestly do. Others may argue otherwise but they might just simply be putting too much personal information on the net, which is the Internet no no. Anyone should know that. If you don’t want information used against you don’t put it up. People hassle you, delete/ignore/limit them. Don’t put yourself in a plastic bubble but would you have that chick over all the time who belittles you and your kids? No? Them why is she able to see all your kids little cutesy messy moments for her to cluck her teeth at and be a bag about! Hmmmm? If you have to have that person on your list, limit what they can see. If you don’t know how, research it and learn how to protect yourself.
Would you have such little respect for your boyfriend/husband/wife/significant other that you would have your ex on your friends list to make sexy little comments on your “Damn I’m hot” pictures? Most people forget to think about how they would feel. I know if I saw some skinny little pretty raven haired girl commenting on a picture of my hubs I’d probably track her ip and kick her butt. Lucky for me – he hates social media outlets like Facebook because he prefers people not know every intimate aspect of his personal life. (Yes. I do take this into consideration when writing) This means I don’t get jealous at all, and I’m a pretty jealous person honestly.
I digress though, social media doesn’t have to kill your social life, romantic life, work life or any aspect of your life. As long as you don’t broadcast every little thing about yourself over the Internet and show respect for everyone including yourself. It does tend to help some people connect, romantically and platonically. There isn’t a whole lot of things to say any further on the subject without going into cheesy territory and utter cliché homeland.
Admit it. You sang it.