Here’s a bit of background information for this post,
I grew up in a household until I was 9ish that had one amazing parent and one step parent most fairy tales had nothing on. My brother and sisters father was a nightmare. But everyone else in my life was always 100% supportive.
My Nana and my Mom supported every venture I set out on, not with blinding faith, but with optimistic encouragement mixed with hints and warnings for the future. It wasn’t that I could do no wrong, it was more that they would support my choices and stand by me with my out comes. If I did something that didn’t work that was okay because I tried, and as long as I tried my best it wasn’t a failure, it was a learning experience. They tried to fill my self esteem up so no one could ever empty it out, the way a parent should.
I never had the “Jewish” Mother experience, never had someone critical of everything I did. (Unless it came to crafts, then I could do no right only because Nana knew a better way to do it and was vocal about it)
Until now. Now I have a mother in law whom I respect dearly and love completely, trusting her with things I wouldn’t tell my own Mom, bouncing things off her I couldn’t even ask my husband. But by the power of grey skull is she ever the most critical, sometimes mean woman I’ve ever met in my life. One can literally do no right. I’ve been told not to take it personally, but when your being told if a child isn’t potty trained by 18m it’s the parents fault…and yours is 2 years old and not trained, how do you not take that to heart?
Some moments it feels like I can do absolutely nothing right, I’m a bumbling fool who is going to ruin her child by not completing things on time. Even though in my opinion the “guidelines” are completely out to lunch, I’m still wrong.
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I am too sensitive, but when someone is watching your every move and micromanaging you to an extreme, you start to wonder why you shouldn’t just give up and let them do what ever the hell they want.
Why fight the tide?
And come October it’ll be double. Yay.