Random Writing during a depressed bout

She felt so alone, yet was surrounded by people.

She felt so lost, yet knew where she was.

She felt so unloved, yet knew she was loved.

Her brain told her one thing, reality was completely different. Watching a world full of seemingly normal people was starting to become almost too much to bear. She felt as if the world was on her shoulders yet knew it was self-imposed and could not say a word. Nothing felt right anymore and she didn’t know how to fix it. All she knew was she did not want this life anymore, but she loved her family. Loved their happiness and didn’t want to destroy that. They needed her. She needed to figure out what was wrong with herself.

 

She worked so hard to get to where she was but she didn’t want this life.

She didn’t want this pain.

She wanted it all to end

But was both a coward and stronger than that.

 

Everything in life was just a big muddled mess. She simply didn’t know what to do. The very feelings she had confused her even more. Everything seems so pointless. Yet full of prospect.

Unscrew my head and rinse it out

You can spend your entire life trying to be the person you want to be.

You can do everything right.

Try everything right.

But in the end sheer dumb luck seems to be the thing that can stop a well thought out and well laid out plan in its tracks.

All my life I was told to make a plan. Make a plan. Stick to it. Work for it. If you work hard enough you can do anything. The only one stopping you – is you.

The sheer naivety of that has killed me. It has coloured the world with rose coloured glasses and now I cannot tell which end is up. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I plan down to the minutia of details. I channel my inner Rocket. I channel my inner Hannibal. I make sure every single aspect is covered. I plan for contingencies. I plan for someone with a rocket launcher.

What I don’t plan on…and if I did I wouldn’t even bother to try….is to be told flat out no. To have an unmovable object meet an unstoppable force.

It all has to be my issue, at this point it has to be. How many times are you called crazy or told you are wrong before you start to believe it? What if my entire life has been a lie? What if everything I know and was told to do is wrong?

Apparently it is.

So I will stick to my world, I will rock what I know. When people tell me I’m selfish and spoiled, at least I will be able to say yeah. I am. Because I earned this, I worked for this, I tried for myself and for no one else. Because when I try to plan for everyone’s happiness….

Everyone ends up happy.

But me.

EA Makes Worst Company In America History, Wins Title For Second Year In A Row!

The ending says it all!

Consumerist

eagoldenpoowcia2013Following last year’s surprise Worst Company In America victory by Electronic Arts, there was hope that the video game giant would get the message: Stop treating your customers like human piggy banks, and don’t put out so many incomplete and/or broken games with the intent of getting your customers to pay extra for what they should have received in the first place. And yet, here we are again, with EA becoming the first company to ever win a second Golden Poo from Consumerist readers.

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EA Admits It “Can Do Better” But Blames Worst Company Success On Homophobes And Whiny Madden Fans

Couldn’t have put it better myself. The entire “apology” was a complete, asshole ish joke.

Consumerist

eapoologoVideo game giant EA is on the precipice of having a chance to repeat as grand champion in the Worst Company In America tournament, so one might think this would be a time for EA to make nice with the customers who feel like they are being mistreated. And in an EA.com blog post, Chief Operating Officer Peter Moore does admit to mistakes and promise to “do better.” But, for reasons we can’t even begin to fathom, he didn’t stop there.

SHRUGGING OFF CONCERNS
In his statement, Mr. Moore begins by questioning the merit of Consumerist readers’ opinions on what constitutes a “worst company.”

“This is the same poll that last year judged us as worse than companies responsible for the biggest oil spill in history,” writes Moore. He’s obviously referencing the 2011 champ BP, except BP wasn’t even in the bracket last year. In response to Moore’s…

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